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Shampoo scientists awarded Nobel Prize

Scientists from cosmetics company L’Oreal were said to be ‘shocked and delighted’ today after being awarded the Nobel Prize for science. The group, led by Chief Researcher Bob Mulligan, was chosen for...

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Chancellor ‘may not win Nobel prize for economics’, suggest rumours

Chancellor George Osborne will not be awarded this year’s Nobel prize for economics, according to rumours circulating in Stockholm. Osborne was thought to be in line for the prize – to be announced on...

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Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends. ‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living...

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Lineker wins Nobel Prize for divorce algorithm

Crisp salesman Gary Lineker has been awarded the 2016 Nobel Prize in Economics for his divorce equation. ‘The key variables are how long you’ve been married, how many fit birds you meet per week and...

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Donovan volunteers to collect Nobel Prize for Dylan

The British Folk Singer Donovan, widely regarded as ‘The English Elvis Presley’ has volunteered to collect the Nobel Prize for Poetry on Bob Dylan’s behalf and then pretend it’s gone missing when Bob...

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Aung San Suu Kyi: Good guy, bad guy or Burmese rhyming slang?

Confused by Aung San flitting between winning a Nobel Prize and killing everyone? Torn between admiration for her previous fights against military rule, and condemnation for her current refusal to...

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World War 3 Would Hurt Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Chances

The Nobel Committee today warned Donald Trump that starting WW3 would not help his chances of winning the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize. ‘The clue’s in the name,’ said Committee member Brigitte Norsberg....

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